Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Should you visit a new mom?

Had an interesting chat with my friends on visiting a new mom and decided to share my thoughts with everyone.

I had received number of visitors at home (everyone was excited as it was the first grandchild in the family and among the first baby in my circle of friends- It was my first baby). 

I remembered that I didn't sleep for 24 hours as visitors kept coming. Visitors came during the day and ideally I should be resting at night (wait a minute, rest at night? It's almost impossible with newborn around). Didn't anyone warn you about the "night shift"?

Perhaps, this illustration would best describe my situation/ feeling at that point.
I guess, all MOTHERS are actually MOMBIE.

Of course I did appreciate those who came to visit (thank you everyone for the lovely gifts and wishes). Coming to second and third child, (to be frank) the excitement to receive visitors became less exciting (on a another note, I do not intend to offend anyone. Priority changes over time). Every second of baby sleeping time is fully occupied with pumping schedule, rushing to eat and bath and sleep/rest time for the mom too.

Here's some real life scenario of a new mom,
(apart posting of newborn cute photos and how adorable they are and you just wish you have a baby too because they look so cute and you wanna eat them "geget dia comel sangat")

1. Arrived home after few days stay in the hospital
unpack the hospital bag, adjusting new routine/schedule with newborn (for first time mom, they will have to observe and try to understand signals from their newborn ie. when to change diapers (did he poop? color/texture?, when to feed them (shall I wait for baby to cry first) and etc. Those with elder kids around (your kids will surely asking for attention after you being away from home for few days), checking the medicine that the doctor gave you when you discharged from hospital.

2. Breastfeeding
 I prefer to breastfeed my baby with no one watching my boobs ( I have nursing cover but it gets awkward/ uncomfortable when guests are around and wanting to hold and kiss your baby ("Bila nak habis menetek niii? Orang nak ambil gambar dengan baby"). You gotta rush and sometimes had to pause breastfeeding to actually accommodate them. While new mom should be left alone and adjusting herself to master the art of breastfeeding.

3. Night shift- The sleep deprivation 
Newborns didn't usually have a sleep routine.

Welcome to Motherhood. Mombie Club! 
New members will get a complimentary "panda eyes"
after battling during delivery with pain on ***/ c-sect scar, new mom didn't get a good rest and now on 24 hours "on call duty" . To be honest, it is a really tiring period. I wish we mothers could skip this part and "pantang blues". Of course husband would be around to help but men doesn't have boobs ;p Baby demand for boobs!

4. "Entering Personal Space"
New mom during confinement period will normally stay in a room. 
Say if the room on 1st floor (mom needs to get up and down whenever visitors came or visitors will need to enter their bedroom (and eventually see all the mess). New mom should get plenty of rest and should minimise their movement (especially c-sect moms). 

Considering some home do not have huge common area/ living room. No lift.

5. Preparing for "Guest is coming!"
Is the room/ house is clean / in order to receive a guest?
What do we have in the kitchen to serve our guest? Drinks? Any food?

Some new mom stays at their mother/in law's home may not need to worry about this but for new mom who stays on their own will probably be worried. Again, this is unnecessary things to worry while they have so many things to worry on (is my milk production enough for my baby? Should I express my milk every 2 hours? etc etc)

6. Hygiene/ Precautions for Baby
Did he/she wash her hands before holding, kissing my baby? 
Err, you just recovered from fever/ chicken pox few days ago?
Virus? What virus?
(There's number of cases of new born got affected with viruses, so mom be careful)

For all the scenarios I shared, do you think we should visit a new mom?
Should we change the way we do things? 

I understand that we should celebrate and be happy about it, especially to announce the arrival of the newborn but little things could matters and we should allow new mom to get as much rest as they can as "pantang period" is the crucial period for mom to recover and rest. 

(Note: I do not intend to ban visitors or say DO NOT VISIT NEW MOM but hey, you can always visit them anytime whenever both mom and baby is fully recovered, in good state)

Care to share your thoughts?

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